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    April 08

    沙罗双树

    感冒、低烧、喉痛、腹泻、口腔溃疡、牙痛……
     
    居然可以同时得到这么多症状的眷恋。真的开始佩服起自己的魅力来。
     
    居然可以患这么多病的同时坚持上课。真的开始佩服起自己的毅力来。
     
    居然可以课后仍平安无视地回到宿舍。真的开始佩服起自己的生命力来。
     
    记得儿时高烧得兴奋地唱起歌来,惊吓了母亲。她真以为我烧成一呆瓜了。
     
    路过常路经的大草坪,平时我总会放慢脚步的。
     
    看着学生在大草毯子上读书,看着年轻的母亲带着孩子在嬉戏,看着老夫妻在散步。
     
    幻想着大字型地躺在新绿上看微蓝,看流云,看星宿,看上帝怎样监考我们的生活。
     
    我知道它肯定看到许多人偷偷地作弊了,还假装不知道的样子,其实在暗地里偷偷地笑着。
     
    然后幻想着老去后的生活。仿佛很沧海桑田的样子。
     
    却怯懦地从未跨进大草坪半步。
     
    规矩很重要,从小在方圆中长大的我,对这些条条框框有种惯性的奴性。
     
    今天的我,却有种莫名的冲动,使我越过雷池,淌进草海里。
     
    也许是我病了。嗯,肯定是这样子。而且还有这么多病呢。
     
    ——对于我的反常,我找到了一个很好的借口。
     
    仿佛割脉一样,灵魂从伤口中不断渗出,汩汩地流了一地。
     
    摆脱了人肉棺材的感觉真好。我疯了似的奔驰,仿佛蒙古草原里的狼。
     
    草地里有两棵诺大的树。仿佛沙迦使出天舞宝轮的地方——沙罗双树。
     
    眼中残留影像:带着血书的花瓣燃烧升空,消散在薄雾中。双眼睁开之际,佛珠断裂,双树凋零。
     
    噢,过火了。我的癖好是将美好的事情丑化,将丑陋的事情美化。
     
    有时觉得自己是个戴着十字架项链的魔鬼,有时又觉得自己是个拄着骷髅魔杖的天使。
     
    铐回离魂,快步地逃离了现场。我的愉悦没有留下一点蛛丝马迹。
     
    嗯,是的,我是不应该如此不雅的。
     
    魔鬼与天使又开始了它们的困兽之斗。

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